


Paper Hearts

by kisses_and_cookies



Series: Paper Hearts AU [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Falling In Love, Harley is a celebrity, Idiots in Love, M/M, POV First Person, POV Peter Parker, Peter just works for Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23858659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisses_and_cookies/pseuds/kisses_and_cookies
Summary: Harley is a pop artist that gets tangled up in a scandal and hides out at Tony's tower until things blow over. He meets Peter, who doesn't really know anything about him. This is basically just a story following Peter and Harley for the year after Harley coming to Tony: Harley writing a new album and falling in love with Peter.I'm pretty shit at writing summaries, sorry!Also this is rated Teen mostly for swearing
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Series: Paper Hearts AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885816
Comments: 12
Kudos: 208





	1. Nice to Meet You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> I have this all written, I just have to edit it. I'm going to try and post a chapter a day. *fingers crossed*.

I walk into Mr. Stark’s lab, expecting to hear him tinkering and cursing softly, the whir of the machines. He’s always in here before I get to work and stays after I leave. Instead, it’s eerily quiet. I don’t think in the years I’ve been working here, has there ever been a time when there isn’t a machine working. The sound of the lab is normally comforting, wrapping me up in a warm blanket on a cold day. This quiet is like a sheet of ice, cold and uninviting. 

I warily walk over to my desk, looking for any sign of Mr. Stark on my way there. The silence has me expecting someone to jump out at me, so when I make it to my desk unharmed, I let out a sigh of relief. Taking off my jacket, I find a pink sticky note on my desk and written in Mr. Stark’s scrawl it says: come to the living room, there’s someone I want you to meet. 

Suddenly, the quiet of the lab makes sense and I roll my eyes. Mr. Stark is probably upstairs talking to whoever he’s trying to introduce me to now. Since I was in high school, he’s been trying to introduce me to people he thinks will help me with my career. Which is really nice and I appreciate it, I really do, I just don’t think it’s necessary. I like my job, here, with Mr. Stark and I don’t want a different one, don’t want to work with someone who isn’t Mr. Stark. I’m not sure how to have that conversation with him because we don’t talk about stuff like that. So, I just smile and shake these men’s hands and never do anything about it. I swing my bag up onto the table and take the elevator to the floor with Mr. Stark’s apartment. 

When I step out of the elevator, I walk towards the kitchen, toward the talking I can hear. I stop when I make it there, leaning against the doorframe, waiting for there to be a lull in the conversation. I can see Mr. Stark standing there, looking like he hasn’t slept in days. He probably hasn’t. In all these years, I still haven’t gotten him to sleep like a proper human being. Not that I have much room to talk, but still. I mean, I’m young, I can bounce back easily, I have the rest of my life to rest. He’s old, and… well, i just want him to take care of himself. Standing next to him is a boy who looks to be about my age, holding a cup of coffee. His dirty blonde hair is messy and in stark contrast with his soft blue sweater and jeans that look immaculate and expensive.

It doesn’t look like the two are going to stop talking, so I clear my throat to get their attention and both of them turn their heads in my direction, like they weren’t expecting me to be here. “Peter! I’m glad you made it!”

“Mr. Stark, were you expecting me to not make it up here? It’s only like a 20 second elevator ride.”

Mr. Stark walks over to me, clapping me on the shoulder. “I’ve seen you singe your eyebrows off, kid. It wouldn’t surprise me if you got lost on your way up here.”

I reflexively reach up to touch my eyebrow, making sure it’s still there. They mostly grew back. “Hey! That only happened once!” Mr. Stark quirks an eyebrow at me. “Okay, maybe twice. Besides, nothing like that has happened in a long time!”

“Pete, that was last month.”

I feel my cheeks turn pink and cross my arms over my chest. So much for not looking like an idiot in front of this other guy. “I think I need a raise, if I’m going to have to deal with this kind of harassment.” I push off the door frame, turning to go back to the lab. “If you're done, I’m going to get some real work done.”

He takes a step back, bringing the other boy into view again. “I actually wanted you to meet Harley. He’s going to be staying here for a while. So, Peter, this is Harley, Harley this is Peter.”

The other boy, Harley, sticks his hand out towards me and I take it. His hand is calloused and it’s rough against mine. “Nice to meet you, Peter.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you too.” There’s an itch in the back of my mind that he looks familiar, but I can’t figure out why.

“Alright, wonderful. You’re best friends now. Peter, I think we have some work to get done. Harley… just don’t do anything stupid for the next.” Mr. Stark looks at his watch. “well, just don’t do anything stupid. Go play with Morgan or something.”

“Tony, why would I do something—” Mr. Stark shoots him a look, easily shutting him up. “I’ll just, uh, go see what Morgan’s doing then.”

It’s not until hours later that I realize why Harley looks familiar. I’ve been listening to a random playlist on Spotify when I look down at my phone and see a familiar face staring back up at me, a very familiar face. “Shit!”

Mr. Stark looks up from his work. “What?”

“That was— that was Harley Keener.”

"Yes, we’ve already been through this.”

“No, I mean, like the pop star, Harley Keener.”

Mr. Stark lets out a chuckle. “You didn’t realize that earlier?” I shake my head. “Pete, you’re so oblivious, it’s a miracle you're still alive.”

“And I think Pepper would say the same thing about you.” He throws a wadded up rag at me before turning back to his work. These are the moments I love most about working here, the reason I don’t want to leave. In no other lab would I get a side of loving harassment with my work.

“Hey, kid, you’re not going to tell anyone, right? Harley’s going through a lot and needs some peace for a little bit.”

I don’t even look up from my work to respond. “Mr. Stark, I didn’t even realize he was famous until like 10 minutes ago. I don’t care.”

And I mean it. I mean, I’ve heard his music before. Who hasn’t? Harley Keener is a household name. He revolutionized pop music. He’s been doing world tours since he was like 14. I don’t really pay enough attention to celebrities to have recognized him and I don’t care enough to tell anyone I met him anyway. He’s just a person, it’s not like I’m expecting us to be friends or anything. 

Later that night, laying in bed, I decide to stalk Harley on the internet. What? Sue me, I thought he was cute. I find his Instagram and creep through it, I thought he was cute this morning, but damn is he hot. His Twitter is full of corny and hilarious tweets. He hasn’t been active on either in a while, so I close out of them and put my phone down. If I want to know about Harley, I’m going to have to do it in person, not by stalking his social media. 


	2. Does the rest of the world matter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been told I have a trash music opinion, so I wanted to make a quick note that you don't have to know any of the lyrics or songs mentioned and you don't have to listen to them in order to read this. Okay, thats it, hopefully you'll like this chapter!

I drag myself into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. I’ve been working in the lab for, I look at the clock, 12 hours? Has it really been that long? I really need to stop losing track of time. I scoop coffee grounds into the coffee maker and turn it on. While I wait for it to finish brewing, I pull a mug down from the cupboard and pour in whatever creamer is in the fridge. I can hear a piano playing from somewhere in the apartment. I’ve spent a lot of time in Mr. Stark’s home and I don’t remember him ever having a piano. When my coffee is done brewing, I grab the cup and walk toward the sound, investigating.

It brings me to the sitting room. I know, it’s ridiculous, the idea of a home having two living rooms. I’ve always mocked Mr. Stark for it. This is room doesn’t have a tv in it and I’ve never seen anyone actually use it for anything. Looking at it, the furniture has all been taken out, save a coffee table and sofa, to make room for a large piano and guitar. Sitting at the piano, playing is Harley. He’s been here a little over a week. I’ve seen so little of him that I almost forgot he was here. 

I lean against the doorway, listening to him play. “ _Sometimes it all gets a little too much, but you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up._ ” He stops, writes something down and then starts over. He writes a line and scratches it off over and over again. Eventually he stops, running a hand through his hair. I watch as he takes a deep breathe and starts playing again. This time it’s a different song, but his voice is just as beautiful in this one as it was in the last one. “ _I’m so tired of love songs, tired of love songs, tired of love songs, tired of love_.”

He stops again, tries another lyric, again and again before banging all the keys at once in a dissonance that is as terrible as his playing before was wonderful, and lets out a groan. I take this as my cue to leave, but something about the way Harley looks: tired, frustrated, and lost has my feet moving into the room. MJ always says its my character flaw, to look at someone in need and not be able to turn away, even if it means hurting myself in the process. I don’t see it that way, if someone needs help, I should help them. 

Before I can think too much about it, I hear myself saying, “Do you want to talk about it?”

I watch as he jumps in surprise, hitting a few keys. “There’s nothing to talk about, they’re just songs.”

I stop by the side of the piano, taking a sip of whats left of my coffee. “Mmhmm. It didn’t sound like just a song to me.”

He’s looking at me like I’m being stupid. “You really don’t know?” I set my mug on top of the piano and Harley picks it up, handing it right back to me. “You can’t set things on top of my piano.”

I take a sip of my coffee, not bothered by the fact that he doesn’t want me putting things on his piano. I’ve worked with Mr. Stark far too long to not understand when someone cherishes something enough to take care of it. “Know about what?”

“Are you really that oblivious?” I can tell he doesn’t mean it, the way he’s talking to me. Like I’ve done something wrong. I think he’s mad, not at me, but at something. “The whole fucking world hates me, Peter.”

I set my cup on the piano and instead of giving it back to me, Harley lets out a loud sigh and sets it on the ground while I settle on the bench next to him. I said I understood why he didn’t want me to set things on his piano, not that I would remember. “I don’t think that true.”

He snorts. “Well, the rest of the world seems to disagree with you.”

“Does the rest of the world matter?”

“What?”

“The people that are here, that are important, don’t hate you. Mr. Stark, Pepper, Morgan, Happy. None of them hate you. Not that I’m anyone important, but I don’t hate you. So, if those around you don’t hate you what does it matter what everyone else thinks?”

He doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he stares at me, searching my face. I hope he finds the answer he’s looking for. Eventually he says, “I think one could argue that Happy hates everyone.”

I let out a laugh because it’s true. Happy acts like he hates everyone, but he’s just a big softie. Once, I start laughing, so does Harley. His laugh is just as wonderful as his voice. I could listen to it all day. I should probably be mad that he changed the subject, but if he’s anything like Mr. Stark, that just means he doesn’t want to talk about it and you’re better off if you just shut up about it. I’m not sure if thats true with Harley, but I don’t push it. 

When we finally stop laughing, I look at the clock and realize how late it’s gotten. I grab up his pen and paper, writing my number down. “If I want to get eve a little bit of sleep tonight, I have to go, but call me or text me if you ever want to talk about it or just if you don’t, okay?”

“Okay.” And with that I grab my cup and leave. I really do need to get home so I can sleep. 

When I’m finally laying in bed, I do a quick google search of Harley to try and figure out why he thinks the world hates him. It doesn’t take me long to figure it out, it’s literally the only thing the internet wants to talk about it. It’s still trending on twitter and there’s a hashtag arguing whether Harley is canceled or not. Scrolling through the articles about Harley makes me angry and I have to shut my phone and turn away from it. People are unbelievably cruel. There is no way any of that is true.

According to all these articles, Harley’s ex-boyfriend, Kris, wrote his last album and Harley claimed them as his own. There was even a video of them talking about it. I don’t believe it. There is no way the boy I talked to earlier would have done something like that. It doesn’t make sense. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned in this chapter are:  
> A Little Too Much by Shawn Mendes  
> i'm so tired by Lauv and Troye Sivan


	3. What do I do now?

I don’t know how, but it’s become a thing for me to listen to Harley play music while I’m on my lunch break. Sometimes I feel like I’m intruding, but in the couple weeks I’ve been doing it, he hasn’t asked me to leave. When I first started coming up here, it would be hit or miss on whether he was playing, but in the last week he’s been here everyday. Sometimes he’s writing music and sometimes he’s just playing. I like the days when he’s playing music for fun. Those are the days he’s happiest. Not that we ever really talk, I can just tell. The songs he plays are always more upbeat than the ones he’s writing and sometimes he even smiles when he’s playing. His smile is radiant, the kind that’s contagious. 

We’ve built a weird friendship around these moments. I feel like, in these little moments, we could talk about anything, that we’ve known each other forever. But I’m afraid to talk, to shatter the quiet trust we’ve built. I like Harley and I want to help him. I can tell he’s hurting, if not from just the music, but from the way he carries himself and acts. I want to help him, but I’ve already offered and he hasn’t taken me up on it yet. So, I sit here and keep him company, hoping one day he’ll talk to me.

Today, he’s writing. It’s slow and beautiful. I close my eyes and listen as he plays. 

“ _And I can't take it back  
I can't unpack the baggage you left  
What am I now?  
What am I now?  
What if I'm someone I don't want around?  
I'm fallin' again  
I'm fallin' again  
I'm fallin'... _"__

I listen until he finally stops, writing something down in his notebook. He sounds broken and all I want to do is give him a hug. I don’t think we’re close enough for that, but I can at least ask him if he’s okay. I know I just said we don’t talk, but I think this is different. I think, the risk of breaking this fragile moment is worth it, if there’s a possibility of helping. I try to say it as quietly as possible, but when I talk it still sounds deafening in the silence that it’s shattering. “Harley?” He turns toward me and there’s tears in his eyes and I think I feel my heart crack a little bit. “Are you okay?”

It’s such a stupid question. Of course he isn’t okay. But I didn’t know what else to ask. He shakes his head no. I don’t know what to say, what can I say? Instead of risking saying something stupid, I don’t say anything at all. I settle on the bench next to him, wrapping him up in a hug, offering him the quiet friendship we’ve been sharing in these moments. The feel of someone being there, telling him he’s not alone. It’s awkward, but Harley doesn’t pull away, so I hold onto him, letting him know that it’s going to be okay as best I can. 

I don’t know how long we sit there, but my lunch must be over because Mr. Stark pops his head into the room. He stops when he sees us. It must be a sight, me sitting here holding Harley while he quietly cries into my shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, but I see him mouth the words. “Is he okay?” I shake my head no and shoo him out of the room. He looks like he’s about to say something, but changes his mind and disappears. 

Not long after Mr. Stark leaves, Harley pulls back and wipes at his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, bothering you?"

“Is that a question or an answer?”

“Why do you sit in here everyday on your lunch?”

It’s my turn to shrug. I don’t really know. It just started and then I didn’t want to stop. I like spending time with Harley, even if we don’t really say much. “I… I don’t know, really. Sometimes we want someone to talk to and sometimes we want someone to just sit with us through it all. You didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it. And I like listening to you play. So, I just sat with you.”

He hums quietly, looking down at his hands, where they’ve settled in his lap. “I did. Want someone to sit with me, I mean. But I still don’t understand _why_ you were being kind to me like that? We don’t even know each other.”

“My Aunt May always told me that you don’t have to know someone to show them kindness.” He looks at me, not saying anything. Being kind to others was never really something I thought about, it was just something I did. Harley’s looking at me kind of weird and I don’t know what to make of it, so I change the subject. I point to the notebook sitting on top of the piano. “What made you write this song?”

“It’s just a song.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

Harley sighs. “it’s just… I don’t know anymore. People hate me. I’ve spent my entire career trying to make people happy. I lived for their applause and praises. And now it’s all gone because of a lie and I don’t know what to do… I mean people are online calling me a cheat and a liar. There are pages dedicated to hating me. What did I do wrong that people are so ready to hate me? I just, I don’t know if I want to make music anymore. Is it worth it if I’ll just get so much hate for it? What if no one cares about me anymore? I spent so many years working my ass off and over night it disappeared. What do I do now?”

“Let me see your phone.” He hands me his phone, unlocking it as he does. I don’t know why he trusts me enough to let me have unrestricted access to his phone like this. I want to ask, but I’m afraid if I do he’ll take it back and I don’t want that. I search through it, finding all his social media and deleting it. “There. Don’t look at social media, don’t look at what people on the internet are saying about you. It doesn’t matter. What matters is you. Are you happy? Are the people you love happy? You don’t need their approval, Harley. Live your life and fuck anyone who doesn’t like it.”

“What if no one wants to listen to the music I make?”

I shake my head. Why can’t he see that it doesn’t matter? “Just write music that you want, music that means something to you and they’ll come. You can’t live your life for other people. You’ll never be happy.”

He nods his head, sitting up a little straighter. “Okay. You’re right. Thanks, Peter.”

“Anytime. I meant it when I gave you my phone number. Whenever you want to talk about it, I’ll be there. Now, how about we make some hot chocolate and watch a movie.”

I pull him up with me and drag him to the kitchen. I let Mr. Stark know I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off and spend it on the couch watching movies with Harley. I should probably be working on all my projects, but I think this is much better. I think we’re going to be good friends. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in this chapter are from Falling by Harry Styles


	4. Let's all be little kinder to each other

I’m working on a new project, trying to draw up some blueprints when Harley comes careening into the lab. He skids to a stop right in front of my desk. “Peter, why are you still down here?”

“Uh… I’m working"

“Not anymore you’re not. We’re having lunch.”

I look at the time on my computer and it shocks me to see it really is lunch time. I really have to stop getting so sucked into my work like this. Mr. Stark would probably tell me it’s not healthy, but who’s he to talk? “Okay, give me a minute to finish this.” 

“If you’re not up in 5 minutes, I’m going to drag you up myself.”

And with that he’s off. I start cleaning up, organizing so that when I come down here later, it’s not a mess. I look up to let Mr. Stark know I’m going to lunch, but he’s already looking at me. When we make eye contact, he raises an eyebrow at me. “What?”

“You have a lunch date?”

I feel my face heat up. “I don’t think he said it was a date.” I shrug. “Aren’t we allowed to be friends?”

It’s true, we’ve been spending a lot of time together in the last week. I normally stay after work and hang out with him. We watch tv, talk, we even ordered in dinner a couple times. There was one time we tried to make dinner, but I ruined it, almost caught the kitchen on fire. Harley won’t let me in the kitchen now. He tells me I’m a hazard to society around kitchen appliances. 

He smiles at me. “Yeah, kid, you are.”

“Alright then, I’m going to go have lunch, I’ll be back in a little bit.” When I get up stairs I almost run into Harley walking out of the kitchen. “Sorry.”

“I was just getting ready to come down and steal you.”

“Sorry, Mr. Stark was talking to me.” Harley lets out a loud laugh and even though I don’t know why he’s laughing, I smile because I’m glad he seems to be in such a good mood. “What?”

“I think it’s hilarious that you call him Mr. Stark. Why don’t you just call him Tony?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. When I first started working with him, I was like 16 and he had been an idol of mine and calling him anything else just felt weird. Now, I’ve gotten so used to it, it’s just a habit.”

Harley hands me a cup of soda before ducking back into the kitchen and coming back with a box of leftover pizza, herding me into the living room. As he walks he says, “I think you should call him Tony once. But make sure you do it when I’m around because I think he’d shit himself.” He sets the box of pizza on the table and then settles onto the couch. I sit next to him, grabbing a slice of pizza. “I mean that’s what he told me anyway.”

I almost choke on the bite of pizza in my mouth. “You guys talk about me?”

“Uh…” Harley’s face stains the faintest color of pink. “I mean, you might have come up once. When, uh, Tony was talking about his day or something like that.” Harley clears his throat. “Don’t tell him I told you this, because he’ll kill me if he finds out I did, but I wanted to ask you about it.”

“Ooookkkaayyy.” I take another bite of pizza while I wait on him to ask his question. I have no idea where this is about to go. 

“He told me someone from another company offered you an executive position at their company and that you turned them down. Why?”

Oh, thats what he wanted to ask me about. I don’t know why, but I was expecting something worse… I don’t know what, but just something worse. “Oh. Uh…”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine. He’s always introducing me to people, in his company and in others, that he thinks will help me to advance in my career or whatever, but I normally don’t do anything with it. I don’t want to move companies. I like working here, I like what I do. I think doing the work I’m doing here is where I can do the most good. In an executive role, I would just be in an office, I wouldn’t really be making a difference.” I shrug. “And I like working with Mr. Stark. I think thats the biggest thing, it wouldn’t be the same even if I was in another lab, I wouldn’t want to do it without him.”

“That makes sense. I mean, he’s kind of like a father figure to you right?”

I turn toward him. “No, he’s not.”

Harley flinches back at the heat in my voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean— you just, thats the vibe I got. Sorry.”

I sigh and set down my pizza. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get frustrated with you. He is like a father figure to me. I just—” How do I explain this without sounding like a basket case? “My parents died when I was just a kid and my uncle, who raised me died when I was a teenager. So, it’s just been my aunt and I for a while.” I look down at my hands. “Ever since I was little I’ve had the fear that I’m cursed and that anyone that loves me would die or leave.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“That that happened to you and that I asked. And I just want you to know that you’re not cursed. Life has shit on you, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. There’s not. You’re perfect, innocent Peter Parker.”

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, I can’t help but laugh. “I am not innocent, Harley.”

Harley raises an eyebrow at me. “I have so many questions. Like—”

Harley sets down his pizza and goes over to the piano, on his way, saying, “Okay, I couldn’t sleep last night and I was thinking about the thing you said last week about being kind and I wrote this song! He starts playing a happy tune on the piano, singing. 

“ _Maybe we can find a place to feel good  
And we can treat people with kindness  
Find a place to feel good  
Givin' second chances  
I don't need all the answers  
Feelin' good in my skin  
I just keep on dancin'  
And if we're here long enough  
We'll see it's all for us (ah ah ah ah)  
And we'll belong  
Maybe we can find a place to feel good  
And we can treat people with kindness  
Find a place to feel good_”

The last note rings out in the room, a happy sound banishing any foul thought that was in the room. “I guess I only have a small part of a song done, but what do you think?”

“Harley, I love it!” I don’t say it, but it’s my favorite one I’ve heard him writing so far. It’s so much happier and care free than anything I’ve heard him writing. he was smiling and laughing while he was playing it. All I want is for him to be happy and I think he’s finally on the way there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song in this chapter is Treat People With Kindness by Harry Styles


	5. Let's all go to Barcelona

I dump the popcorn into the bowl, before heading into the living room. It’s a Saturday, which means I should be at home, but I’m back at Stark Tower. Not to work, but for a movie night. Harley texted me about a new movie he wanted to watch and told me to come over so he didn’t have to watch it with just Tony. I guess Morgan’s at a sleep over, so I have to fill in. it sounded like a flimsy excuse, but I wasn’t going to poke holes in it when I wanted to spend time with him. When I walk into the living room, I walk into an argument. Well, not really an argument, more of like a heated discussion.

“Tony, I have like 3 song of the year grammy’s, I think I can write a song about anything.”

“Harley, hubris is an ugly color on you.”

I sit down on the couch. “Yeah, don’t be so cocky. I bet you couldn’t write a song about _anything_.”

Harley places a hand over his heart. “et tu brute?” I nod my head. “Bet?”

“Bet.”

“Fine, give me something to write a song about and I’ll do it.”

“Write a song about…. Barcelona.”

Mr. Stark falls down on the couch. “PETER! That was possibly the worst thing you could have picked. He’s traveled all over the world, he’s probably spent time there. Why couldn’t you have picked something like shoestrings?”

Lightly punching Mr. Stark, I say, “I didn’t think about it. Besides, I’ve never been and I want to visit. If he’s as good of a writer as he seems to think, his song will take me there, yeah?”

Harley nods, tossing his popcorn into the air and catching it in his mouth. “Yeah, it’s going to be Barcelona incarnate. And I’ve actually never been to Barcelona. Challenge accepted.” He steals the popcorn bowl from me and pushes play on the movie. “Now let’s watch this movie.”

When the movies finally over, I head home exhausted, but happy. I love spending time with Harley and I’m so glad we became such fast friends.

I wake up to my phone going off. Grabbing it, I look at the notification and see it’s a text from Harley. 

Are you up?

I am now

A couple seconds after I send it, Harley is face timing me. I usually keep my phone on do not disturb, but I set it so Harley’s number would come through anyway. I’m really regretting that right now. “Harley, it’s after 3 am, why are you awake.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Do you ever sleep?”

“No. Now, listen. I’ve come up with your song about Barcelona.”

“And this couldn’t wait until morning?”

“Nope. It’s really good, you have to listen to it now.”

“Okay, fine, but you’re buying me a coffee in the morning.”

“Deal.” He grabs his guitar and starts playing. It’s upbeat and fun. It makes me want to get up and dance.

“ _And you and I we're flying on an aeroplane tonight  
We're going somewhere where the sun is shining bright  
Just close your eyes  
And let's pretend we're dancing in the street  
In Barcelona  
Barcelona  
Barcelona  
Barcelona  
Well, get up, up on the dancefloor, move, it's a Saturday night  
I fell in love with the sparkle in the moonlight  
Reflected in your beautiful eyes  
I guess that is destiny doing it right  
And dance like they do in the Mediterranean  
Spin you around me again and again, and  
You're like something that God has sent me  
I want you, baby, solamente_”

Harley’s laughing and smiling when it ends. His laugh is just as musical as his voice and his smile is radiant. I think it’s the happiest I’ve seen him. I want the song to keep going, to keep seeing him so happy. 

He sets his guitar down and picks up his phone. “So, what did you think?”

Shit, Harley, I loved it. It was so much fun. I can’t wait until you finish it!”

He laughs. “I know! I had so much fun making it. Thanks for making me write it, Pete. It was just what I needed to make me fall in love with writing just for myself.”

I let out a big yawn. “Of course Harls.”

“Alright, I’ll let you get back to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight and get some sleep.”

“I will.”

After we hang up, I fall asleep with the picture of Harley smiling filling my head. 

I wake up in the morning to a video from Harley, it’s the finished song. Did he get any sleep? I decide to send him a video of me dancing to it. As soon as the music starts playing, i start dancing:

“ _Oh, get up, up on the dancefloor tonight  
I've got two left feet and a bottle of red wine  
Making me feel like the beat and the bassline  
Are in my blood, both hands up on his waistline  
Get on up, baby, dance to the rhythm of the music  
Don't care what the DJ chooses  
Get lost in the rhythm with me  
Please don't close until we wanna leave it…_”

By the end of the song, I’m laughing and having more fun than I have in a long time. After I send the video, Harley face times me again. “Hey.”

He’s still lying in bed and it sounds and looks like he just woke up, but he’s laughing. “Peter, that video was too much. Has anyone ever told you you're a terrible dancer? I loved it.”

I smile at him because, damn, he’s cute. “I loved the song.”

“Thanks! Hey, want to get some breakfast?”

“Sure! I’ll pick something up on my way over?”

Harley lets out a yawn and nods. “Sounds good, I’ll see you in a few.”

When we hang up, all I can do is stare at the wall. I have a crush on Harley Keener and it is not going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in this chapter are from Barcelona by Ed Sheeran


	6. How to tell you I like you without telling you

I’m in the kitchen grabbing a cup of coffee, trying to give myself enough energy to get through the day. I haven’t been sleeping well because I spend all night thinking about Harley. I mean at this point we’re friends. Should I tell him about my crush and hope it doesn’t ruin our friendship? Or should I just keep my mouth shut so I can at least have Harley as a friend. I’ve been leaning towards telling him just so things don’t get awkward, but I also want Harley in my life and I’m afraid that if I tell him he won’t want to talk to me anymore. See this is why I’m losing sleep. I go round and round all night. 

When my coffee is done, I hear Harley playing the piano and quietly walk towards it, hoping to hear what he’s working on. I love listening to him write music, it tells me more about him, how he's doing then I think he ever would outright. And I think he prefers it that way. As I get closer I can hear him singing. 

“ _I'm jealous of the blue jeans that you're wearing  
And the way they're holding you so tight  
I'm jealous of the moon that keeps on staring  
So lock the door and turn out the night_” 

I walk away after that, I don’t need to listen to anymore. It’s solved my dilemma. If Harley is singing about someone else, then I’m going to keep my mouth shut so he can be happy. I leave Harley behind, cursing myself for being so stupid. Maybe now I can actually get some work done instead of thinking about Harley all the time. 

When lunch rolls around, I almost don’t meet Harley but it’s become such a large part of our friendship, these lunch dates. I know Harley will be suspicious if I don’t show up. So, here I am, sitting on the couch while Harley writes this stupid song.

“ _I want you all to myself  
We don't need anyone else  
Let our bodies do the talking  
Let our shadows paint the wall  
I want you here in my arms  
We'll hide away in the dark  
Slip your hand in my back pocket  
Go and let your long hair fall  
I want you all to myself  
To myself _”__

__  
_  
_

I feel a bit ridiculous being jealous of whoever Harley is writing about, but I can’t help it. “So, who’d you write that song about?” As soon as I ask it, I feel stupid. It doesn’t really matter, isn’t any of my business. 

Harley shrugs, but doesn’t turn towards me. “It’s just a song.”

Why does he keep trying to use that excuse on me? “I think we know each other well enough that you can’t use that excuse any more. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Harley turns to face me and he looks… conflicted, maybe? “No, it’s just that it doesn’t matter.” He shrugs. “We’re just friends.”

“Well, why don’t you ask her out?”

Her? Peter, I’m, like, incredibly gay.”

“Oh, fuck. Sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed, that was really shitty of me. I just, you said long hair and I just assumed and I shouldn’t have. And I-”

Harley interrupts me by letting out a loud laugh. “It’s fine. Sometimes I forget how little you know about me. It’s weird to talk to someone who doesn’t know everything about me.”

That takes me by surprise. “What do you mean?”

Waving his hands in the air, Harley says, “I mean, most of the time when I meet someone new, they already know so much about me. I mean, there are fans out there that know what the name of my second grade teacher was and even I don’t remember that. It’s just… I don’t know, refreshing that you don’t pretend to know everything about me. I mean, sometimes you’re so oblivious to whats going on around you it’s a miracle you're still alive.”

Sometimes I forget he’s famous because to me, he’s just Harley. He’s the Harley that calls me in the middle of the night because he’s excited about something, that texts me stupid memes that he thinks are funny, and that burns the popcorn whenever we’re watching movies. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m spending my lunch hour getting attacked like this.”

I grab my water bottle and settle down next to him on the bench. Before I can set my bottle down, Harley says, “I swear, if you put that water bottle on this piano, I’m going to kill you.” I look him in the eye as I set my water bottle on the top of his piano. As soon as I’ve set it down, he hits me on the back of the head before picking it up and setting it on the ground next to him. “You’re such a menace to society.”

I laugh because I know he’s joking and because I love to irritate him. I love when his eyebrows pinch together in the middle, it’s really cute. He digs his elbow into my side, moving me over.“If you’re going to sit here, then shove over a bit so I can keep working.”

I roll my eyes but move over a bit, giving him room to keep playing. When he’s writing, he’s open and honest about it, he’s not afraid. I think it’s his way to process his life and the things that are happening in it. I like to listen to the way he views the world. He’s playing the piano now, it’s a different song than he was playing earlier. He’s humming and mumbling words to a part of the song that he hasn’t figure out. When he does start singing, his voice is soft:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs in this chapter are:  
> All To Myself by Dan + Shay  
> Lights On by Shawn Mendes


	7. When it rains, find someone with an umbrella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone's doing well! :)

I walk in to the lab, 5 minutes late, and slam my bag onto the table.

“Well, good morning to you to.” I ignore Mr. Stark, getting right to work, hoping he’ll leave me alone. I’m glad he didn’t mention me being late because I don’t think I have the emotional stability to deal with that right now. Unfortunately, the peace only lasts 5 minutes before he’s talking to me again, “Who peed in your wheaties this morning?” 

A small part of me wants to just ignore him, but I know he won’t stop pestering me until I’ve told him what’s bothering me. I give him a vague answer just to get him off my back, hoping he’ll just let it go. “I’ve had a shitty week.”

"Pete, it’s Monday, at like 9 am.”

“Yup.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I don’t have a chance to answer because right at that moment, Harley walks into the room. “Hey Pete! You left your water bottle here on Friday.”

I look up just enough from my work to watch him set it on the table. “Thanks.”

Harley seems unbothered by my behavior because he keeps talking like I’m not being a complete asshole right now. “I’ve been working on a song, you’re going to love it. You’ll be up for lunch right? I’ll show you then.”

I don’t even look up from my work this time. I don’t want to see the look of disappointment on Harley’s face, but I don’t think I can sit and listen to him sing about someone else today. I’m already on the precipice of a complete breakdown and that would push me over the edge. “I’ll try, but I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Harley look at Mr. Stark and see him shrug in response. I know I’m not being fair to either of them right now, but I can’t bring myself to care. They seem to have a silent conversation because Harley doesn’t say anything else before he leaves. Even after he leaves I don’t look up. I try to keep working, but I can feel Mr. Stark staring a hole into the back of my head. Only he knows how to make you feel like a two year old being scolded by his parent without saying a word.

I look up to tell him to leave me alone, but I don’t get the chance. As soon as I open my mouth, he holds up a hand. “Kid, that was brutal. I think at this point, you don’t get a choice on if you want to talk about it. Spill or else I’m sending you home for the day.”

I sigh, setting down my work. I was really hoping not to have to talk about it. Mr. Stark is going to want to help, but I don’t need it. “My apartment building got sold and now we all have 30 days to move out because the new owners are tearing it down.”

Mr. Stark instantly picks up his phone. “That can’t be legal. The owner should have told you about it. I’m going to call my lawyers, they’ll figure it out.”

“Peter, I’m not going to let you be homeless.”

I sigh. Mr. Stark is always helping me out with small things. It’s not that he doesn’t pay me well, it’s just that things in the city are expensive and well, it can be hard to afford things sometimes. And I help Aunt May pay for things because she’s getting old and can’t work as much. I try not to let Mr. Stark know that I struggle because I don’t want him to feel like he doesn’t pay me enough. I think he sees through it though. I used to skip lunch, just to save little bit. I think he noticed, because he’s been making me eat his food for a while now. It’s the subtle things he does really. He’ll make me stay for dinner some nights, give me his “old” clothes that I’m pretty sure he has Pepper buy because they all fit me perfectly. I let him because they’re small things and I know he wouldn’t stop if I asked and it really helps. It’s just, he can’t buy me an apartment. I have to do things on my own because if I can’t do things on my own, then what’s the point? And I can't be a burden like that. “I know, I just— If I can’t find someplace before I have to move, I’ll move in here or back to May’s until I figure it out, okay?”

He nods and we both go back to work. A couple minutes goes by before he speaks again. “Hey, Pete"

“Yeah?”

“You better find someplace to live because I don’t think I can handle both you and Harley living here.”

I let out a loud laugh that echoes through the room. “Thanks Mr. Stark.”

I don’t have to tell him that I’m thankful that I always have a place to live with him or that I’m thankful for him making a joke to put me in a better mood. He knows. 

I spend the rest of the day working. I wasn’t lying when I told Harley I had a lot of work to do. By the end of the day, I’m in a much better mood. I’m still stressed out about having to find someplace to live, but talking to Mr. Stark about it helped. It’s nice to know that no matter what happens, I have a home here, even if I don't want to take it, the offer is nice.

After I’ve cleaned everything up, I go upstairs, looking for Harley. I need to apologize for how I acted earlier. I search the entire apartment and still can’t find him. He must be in his room, so I wander through the hallways looking for it. I stop when I find it. We’ve been friends for months now, but I’ve never been into Harley’s room. It feels kind of like an invasion of privacy to see it now. What if he doesn’t want me to see it? 

I decide it doesn’t really matter. Me apologizing to Harley is more important, so I gather up a little courage and knock on the door. I hear rustling on the other side of it and then it opens up and Harley is standing in front of me. His hair is wet and his t-shirt clings a little to his chest where it’s still damp. He must have just gotten out of the shower. I drag my eyes up from his chest to his face. “Uh… can we talk for a second?”

“Sure.” Harley opens his door wider and steps back, letting me inside. His room is messier then I thought it would be. There’s clothes piled up on a chair in the corner and his bed isn’t made. Harley crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the door frame. “Sorry about the mess.”

“Don’t be. I just came to say one thing and then I’ll be out of your hair.” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry for this morning. I was an asshole to you and that wasn’t fair. I was frustrated, but not with you and I shouldn’t have acted that way. You were really excited about your song and I shit on it. I just wanted to tell you that it had nothing to do with you, it was all me, and you have every right to be angry with me.”

Harley uncrosses his arms, walking to stand in front of me. “Peter, I’m not mad, I just, I was worried. I am worried. You know you can talk to me about whatever it is thats upsetting you right?”

“Don’t worry about it, don’t worry about me. I can figure it out. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.”

Harley runs a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. “But you don’t have to. Figure it out on your own, I mean. You have Tony, your Aunt May, your friends. You have me.”

I step back, turning away from him because I have tears in my eyes and I’m trying really hard not to let them fall. I thought I was fine, but this conversation is making everything come crashing back down around me again. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, trying to think of a way to get out of here so Harley doesn’t see me have a break down. 

Harley moves to stand in front of me and I quickly wipe at the tear that was threatening to spill over. I feel another one roll down my cheek and furiously wipe at that one too. “I’m sorry. I really should go.”

Harley grabs my arm to stop me from leaving. “Hey.” He wipes away another tear thats rolling down my face, leaving his hand resting against my cheek. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

So, I tell him. I tell him how my apartment building was sold, how I don’t have some place to live, and how I can’t, or won’t, move back in with May. I can’t be that burden on her again. “Harley, do you know how impossible it is to find an affordable apartment in New York City in less than 30 days?”

He shakes his head. “I can only imagine. But look, you can just live with me.”

He says it so simply, like he can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. “Here? I don’t want to burden Mr. Stark anymore than I have to.”

“No, I rent a townhome in Greenwhich Village.”

“You do?” He nods at me. “Why don’t you stay there?”

He drops his hand from my cheek to run it through his hair and the breeze that brushes across my cheek is cold against the warmth Harley’s hand left behind. “The paparazzi are always there and I didn’t want to deal with it, so Tony said I could stay here until everything had blown over. They know I’m not there now, so they’re never there. By the time we move back in and they figure it out, we’ll have figured out a way to get passed them without raising any questions.” He nods like it’s all settled. I open my mouth to protest but before I get anything out Harley says, “This isn’t up for debate, Peter. You’re moving in with me. You don’t have to do everything by yourself. There are people here who want to help you, so let us.”

“Okay.” I can tell this isn’t an argument I’m going to win tonight, so I agree for now. There’s definitely more details that need to be worked out, but for right now, I’m content knowing I have someplace to live.

“Perfect. See that wasn’t so hard, was it?” I roll my eyes, he can be so irritating sometimes. “ I was watching Harry Potter, want to stay and watch it with me?”

I shrug. “Sure, I’ve never seen it before.” 

A look of betrayal paints itself across Harley’s face. “You’ve never— you know what? We’re having a movie marathon right now. We can’t continue this friendship until you’ve seen them all.” Harley walks over to his dresser, pulling out clothes as he talks. “Here, go change into these.” He hands me a pair of sweats and a shirt. “You’re not getting into my bed with those jeans on. I’m going to go make some popcorn, we’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

Harley walks out to go to the kitchen, leaving me staring after him. What the hell just happened? 40 minutes ago I had no place to live. Now, I have a town home to live in _with_ Harley. I need a moment to process this. I’m going to be wearing Harley’s clothes and spending the night in his bed? My cheeks turn pink at the implications that thought had. I really need to get a grip. I quickly change my clothes, not sure I’m going to survive the night or living with Harley for that matter.


	8. You've got a friend in me

Walking into the apartment, I hear loud music coming from the kitchen. Under the music, I can barely hear someone banging around in there. A loud curse confirms what I already knew: Harley’s in there trying to cook something. I take my shoes off at the door, walking toward the kitchen and hoping it hasn’t caught fire yet. We’re honestly both disasters in the kitchen, it’s a miracle the building is still standing. 

I’ve been living with Harley for a month now. It took me, roughly, 2 weeks to fully move in because we tried to do it in a way the media wouldn’t find out. It kind of worked. They found out Harley moved in, but not that I did. So, Happy’s been driving me to and from work, that way the media doesn’t know I’m here. I guess they just think Harley is really good friends with Mr. Stark or something. I’ve been living this way for a month and it’s already exhausting. I have no idea how Harley has lived this way- dodging the paparazzi and public in general- for so long. It kind of makes sense why he was thinking about quitting. I don’t know if I could live like this. 

Living with Harley has been a blessing and a curse. It’s like living with your best friend, we get a long well and we’re always having fun. But it’s like living with your best friend if your best friend was incredibly attractive and if you were slowly falling in love with them. Because I am, falling in love with Harley. Through the late night movie marathons, terrible attempts at cooking, and just talking for hours about everything and nothing, I fall in love with him a little more every day. 

I stop at the kitchen island when I make it there, watching as Harley pulls something from the oven. It looks burnt and there’s smoke curling off the top. I’m not even sure what it was supposed to be.

Harley jumps when he turns around and sees me standing there. “Pete! You scared me. I didn’t know you were home.”

I walk around the counter to see what he pulled from the oven. It’s a loaf of…something? I poke it experimentally. It smells just as burnt as it looks. “What are you cooking? Or I guess, what were you trying to cook?”

He hits me with the hot pad holder in his hand. “I was trying to make meatloaf for dinner.”

I laugh. He’s wearing an apron over a t-shirt and sweats. It’s moments like these that tear at my heart. Harley, making dinner, wearing an apron. I don’t know, it’s such a couple thing to do, so domestic. Me coming home from work to dinner on the table. It’s everything I want but can’t have. I poke at it again. “Do you think it’s less burnt on the inside?”

Harley moves next to me at the stove, our arms brushing, and inspects the meatloaf. “Uh…” He looks at me. “Pizza?”

I nod. “Pizza.”

He hangs his apron up on the hook next to the fridge while I order from the local pizza place. When I hang up, he says, “I’ve been working on some songs, want to hear them?”

“Of course!” Harley grabs my hand, pulling me into the living room where his piano is. I’m surprised he takes me here and not down stairs. It means he was working on new music, not producing an old one. I’ve never actually been down stairs, I just know Harley’s been down there working lately. His townhouse has 3 floors. The basement is a recording studio. He spends most days down there with producers working on finishing the songs he’s started. I’ve never met any of them before, they’re always gone before I get home. I’m not sure if it’s just because they’re done working or because Harley doesn’t want them to meet me. I’m too afraid to ask. The next floor is the main one, the one we’re on. It has all the living areas one it. It has the kitchen, a large living area, and dining room. The third floor is where the rooms are. There’s 4 of them: Harley’s room, mine, an extra room, and an office space. 

Harley sits on the bench in front of the piano and I settle next to him. There’s a few notebooks sitting on top of the piano, littered with scratches and notes and rewrites of lyrics he’s written. 

Okay, I have quite a bit of this one finished. It actually was pretty quick to write. 

" _We've all had better days  
Days, they fade away  
All that matters is where we are now  
I'm a sinking stone  
Carrying too much alone  
All that I want is to be by your side  
There's so much on my mind  
Leaving me asking, why  
I am so cold  
My head's just above the water  
And I wanna know who taught you  
Just how to live this life, you know  
You send shivers down my spine  
Whenever I feel low  
And when I'm so far from home  
Always count my stars at night  
You send shivers down my spine  
Whenever I feel low  
And when I'm so far from home  
Always count my stars at night  
You send shivers down my spine_”

Harley plays a couple notes after he’s done singing. He’s shifted while he’s playing so now our sides are pressed together, Harley’s thigh pressing against mine. 

When the last note ends, he starts talking again. “Okay, so this next one I don’t have very much written of, but I still really like it. Okay, here it goes.” He starts playing, letting the notes float through the room. 

“ _So if you're hurting babe  
Just let your heart be free  
You got a friend in me  
I'll be your shoulder at anytime you need  
Baby I believe  
So if you're hurting babe  
Just let you're heart be free  
You got a friend in me  
I'll be your shoulder at anytime you need  
Baby I believe  
You can lay it all on me_”

Neither one of us says anything as the last piano note rings through the air. When it finally ends, Harley says, “I know they send very different messages, but…” He shrugs. “I don’t know it was how I was feeling. I was writing this second one this morning but I didn’t get very far when my publicist called. And then, I don’t know, I just, the other song kind of wrote itself after that.” He lightly runs his hands over the keys, not pressing hard enough to make a sound. “Anyway, what do you think?”

“I love them.”

“You say that about everything I write.”

“Thats because I love everything you write.”

Harley lightly pushes at me with his elbow. “That’s not possible, not everything I write is lovable.”

I shrug. “Maybe not, but I love it anyway.” I grab his notebook and leaf through it. “You are so good at this, Harley, it’s mind blowing. You’ve never written a bad song. You know how to take a feeling you have and write it in a way that everyone can relate. You make people feel the things you are in a way no one else does.”

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “Thanks, Peter.”

I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything and a comfortable silence falls between us. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. It’s a little too close to how I actually feel. Hopefully Harley doesn’t read too far into what I said. I try to change the subject, try to avoid walking us into a conversation I don’t want to have. “What did your publicist want?"

Harley starts gathering up his notebooks, cleaning up. “Oh, she was asking about new music. When I thought a new album would be done, when we should release the single for it, that kind of thing.”

“You know you don’t have to put out music if you don’t want to, right?” He stops cleaning up and looks at me. “I just mean, you shouldn’t feel obligated to do it. If it doesn’t make you happy anymore, then don’t do it because you think other people want you to.”

“I know.” He chews on his lip, thinking. He looks… nervous? “I want to. When I told you that, I had just watched my world crumble around me. But in the months since, I’ve rebuilt my life, built it in to something I want, something that makes me happy. I’ve learned that not everyone’s going to like me and thats okay.” He finally drags his eyes up to mine and his look is so intense, I can’t bring myself to look away. “And I’ve been really inspired lately, to write, and I want everyone to hear it. I want everyone to know about it.”

Sitting this close, it would be almost nothing to lean forward and kiss him. I want to kiss him, I’ve been dreaming about it for so long now. I swear, I see Harley glance down at my lips and lean forward slightly. Before I can be sure, the doorbell rings and the moment is broken, shattered like sugar candy smashed with a hammer. Harley clears his throat. “That must be the pizza. I’ll get it.”

And then he’s gone and I’m left staring after him, wondering if Harley had just been about to kiss me. I’ve never hated pizza more in my entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs in this chapter are:  
> Shivers by The Vamps  
> Lay It All On Me by Rudimental


	9. Please don't be in love with someone else

I nearly fall down the stairs in my excitement to leave. MJ, Ned, and I are going out tonight. I haven’t seen them in months and I’m excited to catch up with them. Luckily, I make it to the bottom of the stairs with out falling down them. I follow the piano music I hear into the living room and stop to listen to whatever Harley’s playing. No matter how much of a hurry I'm in, I'll always stop to listen to his music. Today, it's slow and soft. 

“ _All I do, the whole day through, is dream of you  
All I do, since I met you, is dream of you  
So could you stay with me, lay with me? Talkin' 'bout nothing, yeah  
All I do, the whole day through, is dream of you..._”  
“ _Please say you dream of me too  
Can you?  
Please say you dream of me too_” 

He keeps playing for a little before he looks up and sees me. He stops abruptly hitting a few off-note keys and it makes a dissonance that makes me cringe. His face colors a shade of pink. “Hey, I didn’t know you were there.”

“I was just stopping to let you know that I’m going out with some friends and will be back later.” 

He nods. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”

I wave and head out, thinking about the song Harley was writing. 

*******

I quietly walk through the door, trying not to be too loud. It’s almost 1am and I don’t know if Harley’s awake or not. We were out way later than I thought we would be, but we had a lot of catching up to do. Between our three schedules, we never get to hang out anymore. I mean, we text and send memes to the group chat, but it’s just not the same. I stop at the bottom of the stairs when I hear a glass clinking in the living room. Harley must still be awake. 

I turn into the living room, getting ready to ask Harley what he’s up to, but the sight brings me up short. He’s sitting at the piano and there’s a bottle of whiskey sitting on top of it and Harley has a mostly empty glass in his hand. “Hey, Harley.”

He sways a bit when he looks over at me. “Peeeeterrr!” 

Well, he is definitely drunk. I walk over to the piano, gently taking the glass from his hand. Then, I grab the bottle off the piano. I don’t think sober Harley is going to want that there. “I’m going to go put these in the kitchen and then we’re going to get you put in bed, okay?”

“Noooo!! I wrote a new song. You’ve got to listen to it.”

I roll my eyes. “Alright, I’ll listen to it when I get back okay?”

He nods and I go back into the kitchen. I place the bottle on the counter and the glass in the sink, leaving the mess for tomorrow. I am far too tired to deal with this right now. Taking a deep breath, I go back into the living room. Harley’s still sitting at the piano, waiting for me to come back. I settle next to the piano and motion for Harley to play his song. I feel like I’m indulging a toddler, but if thats going to get him to go to bed then so be it. He stares at me the entire time he’s singing, never breaking eye contact.

“ _Does it ever piss you off  
Knowing that he takes for granted everything he got  
I would keep you satisfied  
Waking up the neighbors every night  
I wanna be your only one  
But until that time comes  
I'm just gonna walk you through  
All the things I wanna do  
If I was your man  
Trust me  
We'd never need company  
So come on take my hand  
Move slow  
Let your body let me know _”__

__  
_  
_

I grab his hands as he’s playing and it clangs a bunch of keys. I don’t think I want to listen to the rest of this song. I gently pull on his hands, pulling him up. When he’s standing he sways on his feet and I grab ahold of his shoulders to steady him. He pouts once he’s steady on his feet. “I wasn’t done.”

I start helping him to the stairs. “Yes, you were.”

As soon as we get to the top of the stairs, Harley stops. “Peter, I think I’m going to—”

I don’t let him finish before I’m shoving him into the bathroom and towards the toilet. He still barely makes it, some of his vomit splashing down the front of the toilet and on the floor. I sit with hi through it, rubbing his back, making sure his hair doesn’t get in his face. When he’s done, I get him some water and a clean shirt and shuffle him into his room. Before I can help him into bed, though, he turns around and I run into him. “Come on, Harley, let’s get you into bed.”

He grabs ahold of my arms. “No, no, hang on. I want to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

No, you have to come closer it’s a secret.”

He pulls me closer and leans down, our noses bumping together. Probably because he can’t see straight. I feel a blush color my cheeks at how close we’re standing, how close Harley’s lips are to mine. “Harley—”

I barely get his name out before he kisses me. It’s nothing like how I imagined kissing Harley would be. It’s sloppy and very… wet? And he smells like vomit. I don’t let him kiss me but for a split second before I gently push him away. “Come on Harley, let’s get you in bed.”

He makes a pouting face, but doesn’t say anything else. I don’t let myself think about kissing Harley until I’m lying in bed. Not while I cleaned up the bathroom, not while I got him water and advil for the morning, not while I got ready for bed. It doesn’t work, it’s all I can think about. It’s safe to say that I get very little sleep. I can’t stop thinking about it. Why did Harley kiss me? Does he normally want to or was it because he’s drunk? Is he going to remember it in the morning? Do I want him to? Should I tell him if he doesn’t? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs in this chapter are:  
> Dream of You by Camilla Cabello  
> If I Was Your Man by The Vamps


	10. Maybe we're both fools, but maybe I'm okay with that

I’m sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking coffee when I hear Harley moving upstairs. I put some toast in the toaster for him and set out the butter before sitting down back down in front of my coffee. I feel like a parent waiting on their teenager to get home from sneaking out to yell at them. I've even got evidence: the whiskey bottle, his songs from last night, the fact that he kissed me. But no matter how ridiculous I feel we really need to talk. 

As soon as he walks into the room I say, “Good morning!” I say it with extra cheer because I know he’s hungover and it’ll annoy him. He just grunts at me as he pours himself a cup of coffee. The toast pops up and I put it on a plate in front of him. 

He butters it and takes a bite before promptly spitting it out. “Jeez, this is so burnt.”

“Yup.” He looks up at me when he hears the tone in my voice. I’ve spent the entire night thinking about last night. It wasn’t even just about the fact that he kissed me any more. He had gotten so drunk last night. I was worried about him and I was angry that he felt the need to get wasted over it instead of talking to me. “You shouldn’t have an empty stomach, so you’d better eat it. And then me and you need to talk.”

I really do sound like an angry parent. Maybe I should go easy on him, he’s had a rough year. I’ve already made it clear that I’m upset though, so I might as well stick with it. We sit in silence after that. Him crunching his toast and me sipping my third? fourth? cup of coffee. 

When he’s finished his toast, he says, “What did you want to talk about?”

“What do you think I want to talk about, Harley?” I grab the whiskey bottle from the chair next to me and set it down in front of him. 

“Shit, I drank all of that?” 

“Was it full when you started?”

He grimaces as he says, “Yes?”

“Then you drank three quarters of it and I dumped the rest of it out.”

He stares at me for a minute. “Annnnd you’re mad at me because…”

I sigh, running a hand over my face. “Harley, I’m not mad at you. I’m worried. You drank enough whiskey last night to destroy your kidneys. Do you remember anything from last night?”

“No, but look, it won’t happen again. Mostly because you dumped out the rest of it out but—"

I grab his notebook from the spot on the counter that I had it sitting and put it in front of him. It’s open to the page from last night and I point at it. “Was it because of this?”

He picks up the book, reading the lyrics he wrote last night. “Damn, drunk me is horny.”

“Harley.”

“Sorry, Sorry. it might have been? Look, don’t worry about it, it’s fine. Can I get dressed or is there more you want to talk about?”

He starts to get up, but sits back down when I start talking “I’m not done.” He stares at me, waiting for me to continue. I don’t know how to say this next part. Yes, Harley, I know you don’t remember but you kissed me last night. “Uh… Well… you might have, um, kissed me last night?” As soon as the words are out of my mouth I wince because it sounds incredibly awkward. 

“Oh, fuck.” He looks sideways at me as he takes a sip of coffee and I can see a mischievous glint in his eye. “Did you kiss me back?”

I cross my arms over my chest because I don’t find this amusing at all. “No. You were drunk and you smelled like vomit.”

“I smelled like— actually, I don’t want to know.” 

I look down, twisting my fingers together in my lap. “You know, I would have if—”

“Don’t. Don’t finish that sentence. Please.”

It hurts me more than it should to hear him say that. It hurts so much that all I can muster is a small, “Why?”

Harley sets down his coffee and turns towards me. “Because I can’t do anything about it. And I really want to.”

He can’t do anything about it? What is that supposed to mean? “Can’t or won’t?”

“Peter…”

I think that answers my question. I stand up, walking towards the door. “I’m going to work.”

“It’s a Saturday.”

“Yup.” And with that I’m out the door and gone. When I finally make it, I go straight to the lab. I’m surprised to see Mr. Stark there. He doesn’t seem surprised to see me though. Harley must have told him I was coming. That pisses me off even more and I start slamming through my things, looking for what I was working on yesterday. He doesn’t try to talk to me, doesn’t try to ask me whats wrong and for that, I’m grateful. I don’t want to talk about it. I think I may have just ruined my friendship with Harley and I’m not ready to deal with it.

I don’t know how long we spend working, but eventually Pepper shows up with Morgan on her hip, two bags of Shake Shack in her hand. As soon as she walks in, Morgan jumps down from her and comes running toward me. “Peeeeeteeeerrrr!”

I grab her up and spin her around. No matter how angry I am, Morgan can make me laugh. “Hey, Morgs, how are you?”

“I lost a tooth!” She smiles wide and shows me her missing tooth. 

“Wow! That’s impressive. Did you put it out for the tooth fairy?”

She nods. “Yeah! He gave me $5!”

“$5?! I can’t believe it. You know, the tooth fairy only every gave me a quarter, you must be very special.”

Pepper comes over and gathers up Morgan. “Come on, honey, let’s let Peter get back to work.”

Pepper gives me a smile and a quick hug before heading toward the door. Morgan shouting goodbye on their way out. Mr. Stark and I settle in to eat silently. 

We’re about halfway done eating before he starts talking and honestly, I’m surprised he’s lasted this long. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. I would literally rather talk about anything else.”

Taking a bite of his sandwich, he says, “Okay. You know, there’s this guy I’ve been wanting you to meet from Oscorp.”

“No.” I know I shouldn’t have said it so harshly, but I just, I can’t deal with this anymore. He looks up startled. I don’t think I’ve ever been that rude to him before. I sigh, setting down my burger. “Sorry, I didn’t, that’s not what I meant. I appreciate it Mr. Stark, but I don’t want another job. I’m happy here.”

“I know, kid, but you have to think about your future.”

“I want to work here, doing this.”

“And I want you to do better.”

I shake my head. “You don’t understand. I don’t want a fancy office job at another company or even this one. I want to keep working in this lab. _With you_.”

“Oh.” I really hope he isn’t about to say he doesn’t want to work with me, I don’t think I could handle another rejection today. “Pete, why didn’t you just tell me that?”

I shrug. “I didn’t know what you would say or if you wanted me around.”

He lets out a laugh. “Of course I want you around. I mean, I want only the best in life for you, I want you to be happy and if that means you stay here, then you stay here. You’re welcome as long as you like.”

I let out a large sigh, feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. “Does that mean I can spend the night? Because I don’t feel like seeing Harley right now.”

“Of course kid.”

Somehow I get roped into a Disney movie marathon with Morgan and we spend the rest of the afternoon in front of the tv. We stop only long enough to eat dinner before she’s dragging me back in for Moana. After that is Tangled. We barely make it through the opening scene before we’re both asleep. 

I wake up to Mr. Stark getting Morgan to take her to her bed and I go to mine. This day has been exhausting. When I plug in my phone, I see I have a notification from Harley. I debate on whether to open it or not before eventually opening it. I think I'll always open it if it's Harley.

**Harley:** I’m no good at words unless they’re lyrics. Even if you never listen to another word of mine again, at least listen to these. 

I click on the video, hearing the sounds of his piano start playing. And when he starts singing it’s soft and sad. 

“ _Don't waste your time  
Trying to pull me in  
'Cause I'm just a mess  
Don't wanna fix  
Just promise me one thing that you won't forget  
But for now kiss me softly before I say  
don't be a fool  
And wait on me darlin'  
I know that you don't wanna hear this  
But I'm always on the move  
And don't be a fool  
And say that you love me  
'Cause you'll find a man  
Who will stand by your side  
And will be there for you  
And just know that I do  
Oh I really like you babe…_” 

Is this really how he feels? I don’t know what to say, so all I text back is “Harley…”

He immediately responds, telling me he’s coming to pick me up. I don’t argue because I want to see him. I want to talk to him about this. 

I let Mr. Stark know I’m going home before meeting Harley downstairs. He has a taxi and I get in. He tells the driver to just drive and then turns to me. He’s sitting next to me, so our knees knock together when he faces me. “Peter, I’m really sorry. You have such a normal life and I don’t want to drag you into mine. I can’t give you anything except a life in the spotlight full of scrutiny.”

I want everything from Harley, but I'll take what he's willing to give me and if that means nothing, then that's okay too. I just want him to be happy. “You know you don’t have to give me anything, right?”

Harley hums, rubbing his thumb along my hand. He leans in close, whispering in my ear. “You know, I rent a place not far from here” He places a kiss on my cheek. “My roommates a bit of a twat, but he’s kind of cute.” He places a kiss against my jaw, smiling against my skin. I grab his hand, lacing my fingers through his.

“My roommates pretty average looking if you ask me.” Harley nips at my jaw for that and I suck in a breath. 

Harley just smiles at me before leaning forward and asking the taxi driver to take us home. We spend the rest of the ride home kissing. These are nothing like the kiss from the other night. These are better than I imagined kissing Harley would be. I could spend the rest of my life kissing Harley and never get bored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is:  
> Don't Be A Fool by Shawn Mendes


	11. This is your home too

I wake up to the sound of honking and a slice of sunshine peeking through the curtains. I roll over to the edge of the bed and sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Running a finger over my lips, I can’t help but think of last night. Kissing Harley was everything I thought it would be and more. I’m pretty sure we annoyed the shit out of the taxi driver, but neither one of us cared. We were too busy getting lost in each other to pay attention to him. By the time we got home, we were both exhausted, so we parted ways with the promise to talk about it in the morning. 

Now it’s morning and I don’t know if I want to talk about it. What if he changed his mind? I step up to the window and open it, letting more light spill in. There’s people walking down the street in scarves and sweaters, snow crunching under their shoes. I push open the window, letting the winter air brush across my face, waking me up. I stare out until my nose is numb with cold. I don’t know what Harley wants, but I guess there’s only one way to find out. 

When I get to the kitchen, Harley places a cup of coffee in front of me and I wrap my hands around it, trying to get warm. “Morning.”

He reaches across the counter to place a quick kiss on my cheek. I guess that answers whether or not he changed his mind. Or maybe he’s just being friendly. I don’t know whats going to change between us. I rub at my eyes. I don’t know anymore. “Are you alright?”

I nod my head, taking a drink of my coffee. “Fine.”

“Perfect. I’m making breakfast. It’ll be done in just a second.”

He takes some toast out of the toaster and sets it on a plate in front of me. I look down at it, then back up. “Harley. This is burnt.”

He sits down next to me with a plate of toast of his own. “Yup.” His toast isn’t burnt. “You made me eat it yesterday, so it’s your turn today.” He pushes the plate closer to me. “Eat up. We need to have a conversation after this.”

I take a bite, giving him a big thumbs up. As soon as it’s in my mouth, I want to spit it out. This is disgusting. I force myself to finish the bite and swallow it. I turn to face him. “How the fuck did you eat all that yesterday?”

He takes a bite of his toast. “You’re scary when you’re angry.”

“No I’m not.”

“You’re right, you’re not. You’re like an angry kitten. It’s cute.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re irritating, you know that?” He nods, an annoying smile on his face and I can’t help but stare at him because I love his smile. Yes, even this one when he’s being a little shit. Sometimes I think I would set the world on fire just to see it. I clear my throat, trying to pretend I haven’t been staring at Harley for longer than is normal. “You wanted to talk?”

He stands up, pushing my legs apart to stand between them. He’s normally taller than me, but now he’s even taller and I have to lean back to look at his face. “Right. I was thinking we could talk later?”

“Is that so?”

In responses he leans down and kisses me and who am I to argue? I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him in closer. He tastes a bit like the grape jam he had on his toast. I used to think grape was the worst jelly flavor, but now I find I don’t mind it. 

I hear my phone buzz on the table. Right now, nothing is as important as keeping Harley’s lips on mine, so I ignore it. Only seconds after it’s stopped, it starts back up again. I gently pull away from Harley because if someone’s calling again, it could be important. I didn’t pull back far and when I whisper, my lips brush against Harley’s. “I should probably get that.”

“Or you could not.”

I glance over at it and see that it’s Ned calling. I pull away from Harley just far enough to reach my phone and answer it. “Hey, Ned, what’s up?”

“Peter! You’re not going to believe this! I got the new 3D Star Wars puzzle.”

“Wow! How the hell did you manage that?”

“Betty’s friends aunt works at the Disney store. Anyway, I was thinking I could bring it over to work on after work tomorrow?”

“At my apartment?” I glance up at Harley before quickly looking away. “Uh, it’s actually kind of messy right now. Maybe we could do it at yours?” Once the sentence is out of my mouth a look of confusion crosses Harley’s face before he backs away from me and leaves the room. 

“Okay, okay. I can set up another table in the living room and we can work on it there. Yeah, that’ll work.”

So, we make some quick plans for tomorrow evening and hang up. As soon as we do, I go in search of Harley. He didn’t go far because I find him in the living room sitting on the couch. I gently sit next to him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

He’s staring at his hands, watching as he twists and untwists them. “Why don’t you want your friends to come over here?”

“Harley, my friends don’t even know I live here.”

He lets out a derisive laugh. “You don’t want to tell your friends you live with me?”

“Of course I do. They’re my friends, I want to tell them everything. But I promised Mr. Stark back when we first met that I wouldn’t make this harder on you. You wanted to stay away from the media, so I didn’t tell anyone that I moved in with you because I didn’t think you’d want anyone to find out.”

“Tony made you… of course he did.” Harley rolls his eyes. “Peter, I don’t want you to lie to your friends. You can tell them where and with who you live. Maybe when I first came to Tony I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to know about it, but not anymore. The media is going to say what they're going to say and I don’t care anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He takes my hand in his, lacing his fingers through mine. “So, you’re going to invite your friends over?”

I look down at our hands. I don’t know how to tell Harley what I want to say. I live here, but it isn’t mine. Harley’s just letting me stay here until I have somewhere else. He must sense my hesitance because he lifts my chin up and cups my cheek. Looking at him, it’s hard to imagine a time in my life without him. “It’s just. This isn’t my home and I don’t want to intrude by inviting people over.”

I watch his eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean? You live here.”

“I'm basically just living on your couch.” I put air quotes around it because I’m not really living on his couch, I have my own room, but the sentiment applies. 

“That’s not true. You have your own room, bathroom. Your computer charger is on the floor over there and your Netflix account is on the tv. You have food in the fridge. Old food, like I’m pretty sure you’re growing something in there. This is your home.”

I shake my head. “Harley I don’t pay for anything.”

“Because I don’t want you to. I rented this apartment before I even knew you, why would you need to pay for it?”

“I’m just loafing. I don’t want you to think I’m here to take advantage of you.”

He pulls me in closer, wrapping an arm around my waist. “Consider it payment for dealing with my sorry ass.” 

“I mean you are pretty sorry, but I don’t think it’s a fair payment system.”

He pinches my side and I let out a giggle. “You’re not taking advantage of me Pete. But if it’ll make you feel better, we’ll figure out something. We’ll redecorate the entire place if you want, whatever you want, Okay?”

I nod, “Okay. But we’re starting with that piano. It’s so useless. No one ever plays it.”

Harley quickly repositions us so I’m lying on the couch with him above me. “Hey, you better watch it. That piano’s paying for your place to live.”

I cock my head to the side. “Really? I don’t think anyone’s ever played decent music on it.”

Harley leans down, brushing his lips against mine. “You’re going to have to pay for that, Parker.” 

He doesn’t let me respond before he’s leaning down to kiss me and I get lost in kissing him. 


	12. We'Re JuSt FrIeNdS

My phone buzzing vibrates the entire couch and I look down to see it’s a message from MJ. I shut my computer, picking up my phone. I don’t think I’m going to be getting anymore work done on that project tonight anyway. I open my messages to see what MJ said.

 **MJ** : Want to go to Tuesday Trivia Night tomorrow or do you and your boyfriend have plans? 

**Peter** : we’re not boyfriends.

**Ned** :wE’rE nOt BoYfRiEnDs

**Peter:** we’re not! We’re just friends

**Ned:** wE’rE jUsT fRiEnDs

**Peter:** NED!

**MJ:** So do you want to go to trivia night or not?

**Peter:** i’d love to

**MJ:** Great, see you there!

 **Ned:** and bring Harley!

 **MJ:** *sigh*

**Peter:** *facepalm*

Chuckling, I set down my phone. MJ and Ned have been over a few times in the last month and a half and they get along really well with Harley. I was really worried about it when they first met. I spent the entire day deep cleaning the house, trying to put my nerves to rest. I’m pretty sure Harley wanted to kill me that day. The three of them meeting was a big deal to me. MJ and Ned have been my friends for a long time and Harley has become such a large part of my life in the last half of last year. So much so that we spent Christmas morning together and he came with me to Aunt May’s apartment for Christmas dinner. That had been a logistical nightmare to figure out in order to make sure the media didn’t find out, but we’d done it. Harley hosted a New Years Eve party with a couple of his friends and MJ and Ned. We spent the entire next day trying to clean up glitter and balloons. I think we’re still finding glitter to be honest. I honestly don’t know why we thought glitter was a good idea. Getting to kiss Harley at midnight was the perfect beginning to my year, though, so I think it was worth it. 

Staring at my phone, thinking about all the times they’ve been over here, I can’t figure out where MJ and Ned got the idea we were dating. Harley and I are… well I don’t really know what we are. We never did get around to having that conversation. 

I stand up, stretching. It’s a little late to be having that conversation. What am I supposed to do go up to Harley and be like: hey I know we’ve been making out for a while now, but I was just wondering what it means? That’s stupid, I should just be grateful for what I have. So, I can’t ask him that, but I can ask him what he wants for dinner. 

I think I heard him go downstairs, so I head in that direction. I open the door into the listening booth and see Harley working in the recording room. He’s talking so I lean onto the doorframe between the two rooms, waiting for him to be done. This room is only large enough to fit a keyboard, a guitar, and a microphone in the middle of the room. Harley’s sitting at the keyboard, talking, a mug sitting on a little table thats next to him. 

“I want to know what you think for the production of this song. I’ll just play you the beginning part.”

‘ _My castle crumbled overnight  
I brought a knife to a gunfight  
They took the crown, but it's alright  
All the liars are calling me one  
Nobody's heard from me for months  
I'm doing better than I ever was, 'cause  
My baby's fit like a daydream  
Walking with his head down  
I'm the one he's walking to  
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to  
My baby's fly like a jet stream  
High above the whole scene  
Loves me like I'm brand new  
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to…_’ 

“I was thinking I wanted it to be slow and soft. I want it to say contentment because thats what I am right now: content.” He must be talking to Jack, one of the people he’s having help him produce his album. I kind of feel like maybe I shouldn’t be listening to this conversation. It sounds personal, which is probably why he came down here in the first place. I’m just getting ready to leave when Harley looks up and sees me, a smile lighting up his face. It should be illegal for someone to have such a beautiful smile.

“I love that! Send me a recording of it and I’ll start working on it and the next time I’m over, we can work on it some more.” 

“Perfect! Thanks, I’ll see you on Thursday?” 

Before he can hang up, Jack says, “I should probably let you know that Trisha called me. She was asking me about your album.”

Harley lets his head fall back and groans. Sitting back up, he grabs his mug. “Fuck me.”

“Is that a request? Because it can be arranged.” Harley chokes on whatever he just took a drink of. I have no idea why the hell I just said that. Maybe it was because I was jealous of whoever he was writing that song about or because I’ve wanted it for a while now and was too afraid to say anything. Maybe I’m just a dumbass. Yeah, I think that’s probably it.

Instead of waiting to see what Harley has to say, I turn towards the door and walk out. I don’t want to stay here and listen to Harley have to tell me he doesn’t want that, he just wants to keep being friends. I need to get out of here. When I get upstairs, I grab my coat and scarf from the closet. I’m just tucking my scarf in and buttoning up the last buttons of my coat when Harley comes bursting in. He looks a bit out of breath, like he just ran up the stairs. He stops when he sees me in the entry way. 

“Where are you going?”

I shrug, finishing up the last button. “Somewhere I won’t embarrass myself.” Harley doesn’t say anything or try to stop me as I pull on a hat and slip on my shoes and walk to the door.

When I reach the door and twist the handle, Harley grabs my arm to stop me. He gently pulls on it and I turn around to face him. He pulls the hat off my head, hanging it on a hook without breaking eye contact. “Did you mean it?”

He starts undoing the buttons of my coat, pulling out my scarf, he untangles it, hanging it up with my hat. “I…” He keeps unbuttoning my coat. I don’t know what to say. I was afraid that I’d ruined our friendship, but looking at the way Harley’s looking, I don’t think I have. “Yes.”

He finishes the last button and pushes my coat off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “Good.” He steps closer to me and I take a little step back almost tripping over my coat. He backs me up until I hit the door and then takes a step closer, so there’s barely any space between us. “I’m not sure if I could have recovered from my disappointment if you’d have been joking.”

“Harley, you talk too much.” I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss me and he laughs against my lips. Kissing Harley this time feels different than all the rest. I can’t place my finger on it, it just feels different, better than I could have imagined.

I unwrap one of my hands from his hair and slip it under his shirt, running it along his stomach and curling it around his waist, I pull him in closer. He lets out a huff of breathe against my lips and starts kissing along my jaw. I let out a small gasp when he lightly bites my jaw, tightening my grip on his hip. I feel him laugh against my skin. “How about we take this upstairs.”

I nod and Harley takes a step back, turning to go upstairs. I pull on his hand to stop him and a look of confusion crosses his face. “Hang on.” I jump up and Harley barely catches me as I wrap my legs around his waist. As soon as we’re steady, I lean down to kiss him real quick. “Okay, I’m ready.”

As soon as he starts walking I lean down again to try and leave a mark on his neck and he wraps his arms a little tighter around me. “I can’t believe people think you’re innocent.”

I smile against his neck. “That’s their problem.”

It’s going to be my problem when I try to explain these.”

I hum, moving to leave a new mark. I make it a game to see how many I can make before we make it upstairs. We fall into bed, laughing. After that everything is lost into a haze that is Harley, a tangle of limbs and skin, of kisses brushed against my skin.

********

I wake up sometime in the night, expecting Harley to be next to me, but all I find is an empty bed. Maybe he just went back to his bed for the night. Wait no, thats not right, I’m in his bed. Maybe he didn’t like sleeping in the same bed as other people. I don’t know, people can be weird about certain things. Maybe he was regretting earlier and didn’t want to be around me anymore. I run a hand through my hair. This is ridiculous. I’m just going to go find him. As soon as I’m out of his room I can hear the piano downstairs. I walk down quietly, trying not to disturb the quiet that’s settled over the house. As soon as I get to the bottom of the stairs I can hear Harley singing. 

" _You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi  
I can tell that it's going to be a long road  
I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe  
Or if you strike out and you're crawling home  
Don't read the last page  
But I stay when it's hard or it's wrong or you're making mistakes  
I want your midnights  
But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day—_”

He stops as soon as he sees me and gives me a soft smile. I smile back, walking over to sit next to him. How can I not smile when he’s sitting there, hair sticking in all directions, my shirt on, a smile on his face? 

I pull gently on the sleeve of his shirt. “You know this is my shirt, right?”

He looks down and hums. “Well, I’m keeping it.”

I don’t know if he purposefully put it on or just grabbed something off the floor. Either way he can keep it. It was a little too big on me, but if fits him perfectly. “Looks better on you anyway.” I tuck myself into his side, looking for a bit of warmth, because I don’t have a shirt on and it’s kind of cold. “Do you ever sleep?”

“Sometimes. But I had these lyrics stuck in my head and I needed to get them written down.” He kisses the top of my head. “You’re my best friend, you know that right?” I just hum in response because I don’t know what to say. Sometimes, when I’m with Harley, I forget there’s a whole other world out there. A world where he’s famous, where he’s in love with someone else, where he’s writing love songs about someone that isn’t me. But then I come crashing back down to earth where Harley isn’t mine. He rubs his hand up and down my arm. “Come on, let’s go back to bed. You’re probably cold.”

I nod and let Harley pull me back upstairs to bed. Sometimes I think living with Harley is like playing with fire and one day I’m going to get burnt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are:  
> Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift  
> New Years Day by Taylor Swift


	13. Is it okay if I love you?

I take my shirt off, tossing it on the floor. We’ve got the windows open, letting in the spring air. It’s nice out, but I’ve been cooped up in my room long enough that it’s starting to get warm. I mean, I guess I’m not stuck in here, but I definitely don’t want to be downstairs. 

Harley’s been working really hard on finishing his album recently, which has led to discussions on when to release it and let me tell you, they are not pretty. Harley’s label company called earlier asking questions about it. They want to release it one way and Harley wants to release it another way. It was getting pretty dicey when I left. 

I feel a bead of sweat roll down my back. Okay, this is ridiculous. I think I’d rather listen to Harley argue on the phone for the next three hours before I have to sit in here any longer. I swing open my door and feel a breeze of cool air hit my chest. It already feels so much better. I hear Harley playing when I walk downstairs. He must be done on the phone. I catch only a glimpse of the song before I walk in to the living room and he stops playing. 

“Why’d you stop playing?”

Harley reaches down, grabbing something from the floor. Before I can even register what he’s thrown it hits me in the face. I quickly grab and hold it up. It’s a sweater? “Put on a shirt, that hickey on your chest is distracting me.”

“Harley you put it there. How is it distracting you?”

He looks at me like it should be obvious. “Because now I want to give you another one.”

I toss his sweater over the couch. “And what if I want you to?”

He runs a hand over his face. “Either put that sweater on or go get another shirt. Those are your two options if you’re going to be in here. I have work to do.”

I walk over to the piano, sitting behind him and wrapping my arms and legs around his waist, resting my head over his shoulder. He lets out a huff of breath. “Peter, I’m trying to work.”

“So, work.”

He sighs but gets back to work. I have no idea what he’s doing, he’s just staring at a list of songs like they’ve got answers to all his questions in them. Sometimes he scribbles something down before he stares at the list again.

Eventually I get bored, so I trail kisses along his neck. “I can’t work like this.” He grabs ahold of both of my thighs and stands up before I can protest. I grab on to him tighter, letting out an undignified squeak. “Just so you know, you’re helping me finish this later.”

And then he starts off upstairs and I giggle into his neck. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of irritating Harley. 

********

“Okay, what if you put this one here.”

Harley slaps my hand out of the way, trying to get a better look. “That’ll mess up the whole story of the album.” 

I raise my eyebrows, taking a sip of my coffee. I have no idea what he’s talking about, so I just stare at him, watching as he works. We’re sitting crosslegged on the floor, papers surrounding us. Each one has a song title on it and Harley’s trying to decide the order of them for his album. He’s got my shirt on again, but I have on his, so I guess that’s only fair. His hair is still damp from the shower we took earlier and a piece of it is falling in his face. I want so badly to reach over and brush it back. I promised Harley I’d help though and I don’t think that would be helpful, so I just sit back and watch as he reorders the list again.

When he’s done, he sits back and looks at me. “What? Why are you smiling like that?”

I take another sip of coffee. I really shouldn’t be drinking it since it’s after midnight, but I want something to do so I don’t have to answer his question. What am I supposed to say? Because I think I’m in love with you, but you’re in love with someone else and I must be a masochist because I don’t want this to end. “I’m just excited about your album.”

He must believe me because he turns back to look at his work. “Okay, what do you think of this order?”

“You know, I’d be more helpful if I knew what you were going for.”

He nods. “You’re probably right. Yeah, Okay.” He runs a hand through his hair, he looks… nervous? I place my hand on his thigh, rubbing my thumb over it. I don’t know what he’s nervous about, but I can at least show him that I’m here, that I’m listening. It works because he looks at me and relaxes a little. “I want it to be about my life in the last year. I started it with the whole world hating me. That was…” He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But through that I rediscovered myself, a life without music. I found a worth in myself in not just what I can do for others.” He looks down at the hands in his lap. “And part of that was falling in love with someone.” He looks back up at me. “If I’m going to put this album out, I’m going to have to ask if he’s okay with the songs I’ve written about him and I’m afraid he’s not going to want me to, that he doesn’t feel the same way I do.”

I gently squeeze his leg. “I don’t see how he couldn’t.” 

He just hums before he turns back to his list and reorders a few of the songs. “Okay, what about this?”

I look down the list. There’s a couple songs I don’t recognize and I point to them. “How come I’ve never heard these?” He doesn’t answer me. “Harls?” He looks up at me at that. I knew he would. I hardly ever call him that, only in soft moments like these. He mumbles something that I don’t catch. “What did you say?”

“I said that it was because I didn’t want you to.”

I sit back. “Oh.” I try not to let the disappointment show on my face. It makes sense, just by the title of the songs: “You Are In Love” and “Say You Won’t Let Go”, they’re probably really personal. But a lot of the other songs he shows me are personal and he’s going to be sharing them with the rest of the world why not me? He probably knows how I feel, it’s not like I’ve been subtle about it, and was trying not to hurt my feelings. I clear my throat. “Do you want to tell me who they're about?”

He looks at me like I’ve got three heads. “Peter, you’re the most oblivious person I’ve ever met in my life. Come on.” He grabs my hand, pulling me up and over to the piano. He sits down and starts to play. I listen and fall in love with the song. It’s soft and perfectly conveys what I think it feels like being in love with Harley is like.

“ _So it goes  
You two are dancing in a snow globe, round and round  
And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown  
You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars  
And why I've spent my whole life try to put it into words  
'Cause you can hear in the silence  
You can feel it on the way home  
You can see it with the lights out  
You are in love, true love  
You're in love_”

He keeps playing, finishing the song and as he does it all starts to make sense: why sometimes he stopped playing when I came into a room, why he was nervous earlier, why he didn’t want me to hear these songs. I remember the moments he’s singing about, they’re our moments. I think… is this song about me? Harley finishes playing and turns to me. “Peter, how do you feel about songs being written about you?”

“I… you… these are about me?”

“Yes. Here.” He pulls a list that was sitting on the piano towards us and points to a song called “If I Was Your Man”. “I wrote this that night I got drunk because I thought you were out with someone else and I was jealous.” He points to another song, “Dream of You”. “I wrote this because I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I couldn’t tell you, but I had to tell someone, so I wrote about it. They’re all about you. About wanting all the special moments with you, but being happy with whatever life gave me and wanting to pick you up when you fall down. They’re about wanting to know every part of you, your body, your mind, everything that makes you, you. So, yeah, they're about you. Is that okay?”

My mind is spinning. I can’t believe these songs are about me. My brain is trying to process everything he just said. My mind keeps getting hung up on what this means, what his song means. “Do you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“Are you— Do you love me?”

He doesn’t answer right away and I’m afraid he’s going to say no, that this has all been one big joke. That’s not the case though because when he responds, he says, “Yeah. I do. I love you.”

I don’t let him say anything else before I kiss him. It’s slow and sweet and everything I love about Harley. I break the kiss to lean my forehead against his and say, “Good, because I love you too.” I press another quick kiss to his lips just because I can. “I do have one question though. How did you know I have a photo of you at my desk at work?”

A smile breaks out across his face. “Tony told me.” I have no idea how long we sit there, staring at each other like love struck fools before he says, “Are you okay with me releasing these songs? It’ll mean people might find out about us.”

I give him a quick kiss to the lips. “Of course you can. It doesn’t matter if people find out. It won’t change how I feel.” I reach up and grab the list. “I have one condition.”

“Anything.”

I point to the last song on his list. “You have to play me this song.” I close my eyes as he plays the first note. 

“ _I'm so in love with you  
And I hope you know  
Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold  
We've come so far my dear  
Look how we've grown  
And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old  
Just say you won't let go  
Just say you won't let go_”

I open my eyes when he’’s done to see he’s staring at me. “I love it.”

He lets his hands slide off the keys, pulling me into a hug. It’s awkward because we’re both still sitting on the bench, but thats okay. It doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be with Harley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are:  
> You Are In Love by Taylor Swift  
> Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur


	14. Paper Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If you've read this far, thank you! And I hope you enjoyed, even just a little bit! <3

Todays the day. Today, Harley’s releasing his album. It’s been a couple months of hard work since he finished the track list, but I think it’ll be worth it. He’s had to fight tooth and nail to release it the way he wanted to, but we’ve gotten here. He hasn’t released any singles and no one knew he was even working on an album until he posted yesterday announcing this live stream and the new album. It was released at midnight last night and quickly shot to number one. 

He didn’t even do a photoshoot for it. The cover is a photo I took of him. He’s sitting at the piano, the sun streaming in through the window behind him. It’s my favorite photo of him; I have it sitting on my desk at work. He said he wanted this album to be vulnerable and open and that this photo was the perfect embodiment of that. I’m so proud of him. 

My phone vibrates and I look down at it to see it’s a text from MJ. I open it and it’s a link to an article. I click on it. It’s an article about Mr. Stark’s lawyers representing someone from an apartment building in Queens. 

I don’t finish the article before I’m calling Mr. Stark. “Hey kid, shouldn’t you be helping Harley getting ready for his livestream?”

“Are your lawyers really suing my old apartment building?”

“Yes. Hang on.” He covers the phone, but I can still hear him tell Morgan to grab the popcorn and get ready for Harley’s video. “Okay, sorry. Yeah, they are. I know you told me not to get involved, but I couldn’t let the other people in your building suffer. Even if you found someplace else to live, they might not have.”

Every time I think I’ve seen the depth of Mr. Stark’s kindness, he shows me there’s even more. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. But why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t do it for the recognition, I did it to help those people.”

“Mr. Stark, thank you. I didn’t even think about ways I could have helped them.” I learn so much from him everyday. He makes me want to be a better person. 

“Of course kid, don’t mention it.”

“Peter!” I turn around to see Harley waving me over to him. 

“Hey, Mr. Stark, I have to go, but thank you again for helping those people.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Pete.”

When I hang up with Mr. Stark, I walk over to Harley, placing a kiss to his cheek. “What’s up?”

Harley wanted to film this in the apartment, so I’ve spent the day running around, making sure everyone has drinks and food and everything they need. It’s amazing the crew size needed to film a single livestream. “Nothing, we’re getting ready to start and I wanted to give you a kiss before we did.” He presses a quick kiss to my lips. “Okay, now get out of here so we can get started.”

I join Trisha, his publicist, behind the camera and she gives me a small smile. We’ve gotten to know each other the past couple of months. She’s great to Harley, always fights for and defends him. He needs someone like her in his life. I like her.

She hits the button and suddenly Harley is live, broadcasting himself across the entire world. I’m really proud of how far he’s come. Last year, when we first met, he never would have done this. Now, he’s smiling and happy while he does.

He waves at the camera. “Hey guys! Thank you for joining. I’m just going to chat with you for a minute while we wait for people to join.” He looks behind the camera and smiles at me. “I’m so glad y’all are liking the album so far. That’s actually what this livestream is about. I wanted to talk to you about it. But first I want to apologize. I haven’t been out in the public in a year and I haven’t been on social media at all. I was— it was a rough time for me. Y’all know what happened that made me disappear. It was rough to watch the entire world hate me and discredit everything I’ve worked for. That’s why, I wrote this one all by myself. No one else can take credit for it because no one else worked on it. I know it hasn’t been that long since I came out with the last one, but I had so much inspiration for this one that it was easy to write it. It’s 16 songs because I had a lot I wanted to say. It’s called Paper Hearts because these are really just love letters. They're my heart on paper. It’s everything I’ve been through in the last year bared for everyone to see.

“This past year has been a crazy one. I wasn’t even sure I even wanted to keep writing, to keep making music. I had to rediscover my love for writing and for making music just for myself. And I did. I found a quietness to my life that I haven’t had in a very long time. I’m content for the first time in a long time.”

Harley pauses, looking at me and I give him an encouraging nod. “And through all of that, I met someone. I met a guy who had no idea who I was and who lived a wonderfully normal life and I fell in love. This album is the most vulnerable one I’ve written so far and I wanted to share the music with you the way I wrote it. So, if y’all will stay with me, I want to play all of these songs for you and talk to you about them.”

As soon as he says that, the chat goes crazy with people’s excitement for Harley playing his album. Trisha gives him a thumbs up and he smiles at the camera. “Alright, let’s get started then. The first few songs, I wrote when everything started happening. I wrote them when I was going through a rough time. I was overwhelmed and tired, and I was struggling with trying to decide what I wanted to do next in my life. So, yeah. Here we go. This first one is called “I’m so tired…”.”

And so Harley plays his album. He talks about each song as he does, sharing why he wrote it and how he was feeling when he did. He talks about being tired of the world of fame and the drama it brought to his life, how he wasn’t sure he wanted a relationship after his last one, how he thought his career in music would be over. He tells everyone about not liking who he had become, feeling like everything was too much and he couldn’t handle it. He tries to explain the impacts of kindness and how just a little act of it would change his whole mood and that we should all be kinder to each other. 

He explains to them why he wrote “Barcelona” and how it helped him to fall in love with writing music, not just as a way to process life or as a way to make his fans happy, but as something for himself. He talks about me. He doesn’t mention my name, but he talks about how he was in awe of my kindness and openness when we first met. How he wanted to kiss me after only knowing me for a week, wanting to know me in every way possible. He talks about getting drunk over thinking I was with someone else.

He tells everyone that all he can do is think of me and that he only wants me to be happy, that he wants to share everything with me: his problems, my problems everything. He wants every special moment with me, but he’ll take whatever life gives him because as long as we’re together it doesn’t matter. He ever tells them that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me in the beginning because he was afraid. He was scared about the media picking our relationship apart, about having to leave for long periods of time for work. And he tells them that he came to learn that it won’t matter what the media or the world has to say about who he loves because he loves me and I love him and thats what matters. He talks about what it felt like to fall in love with me, that he wants to spend forever with me, as long as I let him. 

He spends a lot of the time he’s playing or talking looking at me, like this is a concert just for me and I can’t look away. I don’t want to. Harley’s sharing our relationship with the world and I find that I’m okay with it. I told him he could, but a small part of me was still worried about what people would say, how they would react. Listening to Harley and hearing him talk about his music and the last year, the hell he went through, the pieces he had to put back together, I find that I don’t mind if he shares it. Because while he’s sharing so much with the world, we still have so much that’s ours, that no one can take away. It makes me fall even more in love with him.

As soon as he’s done, Trisha brings him a cup of coffee. He turns to the camera while he takes a sip of it. “If you guys want, I can stick around and answer some questions.”

The chat starts going crazy with questions. I don’t know how Trisha is handling it, it looks overwhelming. Harley takes another sip of coffee while he waits for Trisha to start asking him questions. It doesn’t take long before she finds one. “Someone asked if there’s going to be a tour?”

“Yes! We’re not officially announcing it or anything, but there’s going to be one. We’re still working out the details, but once we have it all worked out, y’all will be the first to know.”

“How come you released this album out of the blue instead of like your other ones?”

He nods like he was expecting this question. “This album felt different than all my other ones and I wanted it to be different. I didn’t want to do the promotion for it. I wanted it to be something to share between us. It doesn’t matter to me if the world loves it, as long as y’all do and I do, that’s what matters.”

“Someone on here asked who you keep smiling at behind the camera?”

Harley laughs. “My boyfriends back there. I’m smiling at him because he’s so fucking cute.”

The chat goes crazy with hearts and heart eye emoji’s. It’s a miracle Trisha can even see anything with all those emoji’s. When she reads the next question, I lean in to read some of the comments. There are LOTS of questions asking who his boyfriend is but Trisha skips right over all of those. “What is your favorite song on the album?”

“Oh, that’s an easy one! “You Are In Love” is definitely my favorite. It was easy to write and really fun, going back through all the moments in our relationship that had gotten us to where we are now.”

“Okay, what was your favorite lyric you wrote on the album?”

Harley takes a sip of his coffee, like he’s thinking about it. I’m kind of curious of the answer too, I never thought to ask. “Hmmm. That’s a good question. I really like the lyric in “New Years Day” about wanting midnights but cleaning up bottles on new years day because that’s what I think it’s like being in love. I want those special moments with him but I also want the everyday moments, the bad moments. As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter. I also really like the lyrics in “Say You Won’t Let Go” about him making me feel like I was enough. I’ve spent so much of my life working to please everyone else, always working to prove that I belong here. But with my boyfriend I didn’t have to. He just accepted me, even at my worst, when I didn’t think anyone would ever even like me, he loved me. This past year, a lot of shit has happened, but because of it all, I’m here and I wouldn’t change that. I’m sure you're asking about everything that happened with Kris, but Trisha is being too nice to ask. What happened to me through that sucked, but I wouldn’t have changed it. If going through that is what got me to this moment with my boyfriend by my side then I would go through it a million times over.”

It goes like that for a while, Trisha asking questions, Harley answering them until the sun starts to set. Harley ends the live stream, promising to do another soon. As soon as he’s done and everyone is gone, we both collapse onto the couch. Harley falls on top of me and I don’t even have the energy to complain about the weight of him. “I’m proud of you.” He hums into my neck in response. “We should really go upstairs and go to bed.”

He buries himself deeper into my neck and curls up tighter against me. “Mm too tired.”

I know I’m going to be sore in the morning and that I’m not going to sleep well on this couch, but that’s okay. As long as Harley’s here I’m happy. I don’t think the road before us is going to be an easy one, but I want to walk it with Harley and it doesn’t matter how hard it gets, as long as Harley is with me, it’ll be worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the track list of Harley's album:  
> I'm so tired by Lauv and Tryoe Sivan  
> Falling by Harry Styles  
> A Little Too Much by Shawn Mendes  
> Treat People With Kindness by Harry Styles  
> Barcelona by Ed Sheeran  
> All to Myself by Dan + Shay  
> Lights On by Shawn Mendes  
> Shivers by The Vamps  
> Dream of You by Camila Cabello  
> If I Was Your Man by The Vamps  
> Don't Be A Fool by Shawn Mendes  
> Lay it All on Me by Rudimental  
> New Year's Day by Taylor Swift  
> Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift  
> You Are In Love by Taylor Swift  
> Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur


End file.
